Some people seem to coast through life without much standing in their way. They overcome most road blocks easily, and they always seem to get their hands on the resources, people and things they need. They seem to live life stress free.

The perfect, stress-free life may seem a little unrealistic, and if you have ever bought or sold a house, then this stress-less ideal may seem much farther away. Stressful emotions usually result when something doesn’t go our way, and we start thinking about the consequences. In fact, most stress in our lives would be eliminated if we knew exactly how to get what we wanted. So, the big question is… how do we get what we want?

Answer: Give someone what they want, and you will be able to get anything that you want.

Think of a real estate transaction. The seller wants the most for his property, and the buyer wants to pay the least amount possible, right? WRONG!! The seller and buyer both have goals they would like to achieve, and they believe that money will assist with these endeavors. The bottom line is: If you can help the other person achieve their goals, then they will help you achieve your goals. In terms of real estate, price is not always the biggest issue. There is possession, conditions, terms, included goods, additional consideration and loads of other, very real, negotiating items. With some open communication and a little creative thought, virtually all transactions can finish with both sides getting what they want. In addition, no one feels grinded, pushed or manipulated, because everyone won.

Focus on giving other people exactly what they want and they will bend over backwards to help you. If you sell your property and leave a little bit on the table, then buyers will be totally flexible on possession, and most other terms of the agreement. The transaction will be smooth, and you can get on with the next step in achieving your goals quickly and stress free. If you are buying, don’t be afraid to pay full market value for the property (even if it is full list price). You can then get a possession that works for you, and you can ask for almost anything else you want. There are an infinite number of ways for everyone to win; you just have to dig a little.

Consider the alternative. You deliberately low ball an offer or hold to your price (out of principle alone). Both sides get their backs up against the wall and the fight begins. If the deal does come together, the chances of everything going smoothly is slim to none. The “losing” party usually tries to get redemption somewhere. The stress is insane!!

Try asking your friends what they need or want done, and help them complete it. Ask everyone you deal with, what you can do for them. Soon you will have an endless supply of people plotting ways to help you achieve your goals as well. If you want to live life stress free, Give, Give, Give… and if you can’t play win-win, don’t play at all.